tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2009-11-09:/You have your life, this is mine and the strange and varied twistings of my mind. Part therapy, part legacy, part pretentious BS... MokoFeed2009-11-09T14:57:07+01:00tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2006-03-16:/2006/03/16/another_personality_disorder_test~649355/WickedImp2006-03-16T18:30:43+01:002006-03-16T18:30:43+01:00 <br><img src="http://images.similarminds.com/leader/7.jpg"><br><a href="http://similarminds.com/othertests.html">What Famous Leader Are You?</a><br><a href="http://similarminds.com">personality tests by similarminds.com</a> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2006/03/16/another_personality_disorder_test~649355/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2006-03-13:/2006/03/13/confusion_of_meaning~639230/WickedImp2006-03-13T14:12:27+01:002006-03-13T14:12:27+01:00 <p>Ok, today I was joined by a long standing friend of mine for breakfast who flew in last night to the UK with her new boyfriend. Now Liv is kinda avant-garde with her outlook to lifestyle and our conversation drifted through many subjects as we nattered away... New boyfriend, Kieran was naturally a bit of a third wheel as Liv and I talked at length. At one point in the conversation Liv mentioned a medical complaint (by it's official name) that Kieran was suffering from...</p> <p>Now you all know me by now.. I speak as I find. So when I heard that Keiran had been born a haemophiliac (the oldest known hereditary bleeding disorder, basically if you get cut it takes a long time to stop bleeding) I was naturally concerned and engaged him about this in conversation when Liv was being excused. The problem being that I'd was operating under the misapprehension that haemophilia was the occurrence of an intersex anomaly, in other words someone was born with both female and male genitals.. You can understand my mistake. Hermaphrodite sound a bit like haemophiliac, especially with Liv's southern drawl and it being an early hour in the morning.</p> <p>I turned to Kieran and sympathised with him about how difficult growing up must have been for him... I was shocked when he replied that is wasn't especially hard but he did have to be careful in certain situations... "I'd imagine so!" came my surprised retort. I then went on, as you do, to ask him how his 'disorder' affected Liv and his sex life.. Again I was utterly shocked to hear that "I don't know that you'd even notice it.."</p> <p>At this point Liv re-enters the room and joins in the conversation. I dig the biggest hole you can imagine for myself over the next ten minutes, with all three of us becoming more and more confused... Until I finally spit out "So on your passport are you classed as a man or a woman, you know.. legally.. where do you stand on that.." Liv asks me what the hell I'm talking about... I answer - He's an haemophiliac.. you know with girl and boy bits...</p> <p>I'm glad they have a sense of humour... We fell about laughing and I was duly corrected that a hermaphrodite is the one with both sets of bits..</p> <p>please enjoy my excruciating embarrassment - I know they did </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2006/03/13/confusion_of_meaning~639230/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2006-03-08:/2006/03/08/queen_mother_s_book_of_condolence~623319/WickedImp2006-03-08T12:56:02+01:002006-03-08T12:56:02+01:00 <p>These are actual excerpts from the Queen Mother's 'Books of Condolence'. Some of these are classic in the true sense of the word.</p> <p>"I think that the Queen Mum and Princess Diana are our very own Twin Trade Towers. At last we can look the people of New York in the face".<br> L.Ward, Mansfield. </p> <p>"When Diana died I swore I would never smile again, but eventually I did. Now the Queen Mum has gone I cannot imagine that I will ever smile for the rest of my life, but I will probably break that one too".<br> A.Christie,Hendon. </p> <p>"She was one of the old school, all the remaining royals are shit"<br> J.Clement. Grantham. </p> <p>"I thought she would never die, she has let us all down very badly"<br> D.Holmes, Somerset. </p> <p>"She was a trooper and she never gave up. I remember one time she was visiting a school and I asked her if she would like to make a visit to the cloakroom before she left. 'No,' she replied, 'I didn't give in to the Nazis and I won't give in to the bladder'. That's how she was, a fighter, who refused to be beaten by anything. She pissed herself later though, it was sickening".<br> B. Forrester, North Yorkshire. </p> <p>"She was a marvellous woman, and a wonderful lover".<br> L. J.Worthington, Penrith. </p> <p>"I am absolutely devastated, at least we could have got the day off".<br> S.Wilson, Bristol. </p> <p>"How refreshing to be able to mourn the death of a member of the Royal family without being accused of being homosexual".<br> J. Fletcher, High Wycombe. </p> <p>"Her death should act as a warning to others who think it is cool to experiment with drugs".<br> E. Franks, Cheshire. </p> <p>"On behalf on all blacks, I send the sincerest condolences".<br> T.Watson, Ilford. </p> <p>"Perhaps if we automated her old golf buggy it could still drive around The Mall on its own and bring pleasure to the tourists".<br> Y. Howell, Slough. </p> <p>"Once again the Queen is not upset enough for my liking, the woman should have a bit more compassion, how would she feel if it was her mother?"<br> W.Waugh, Richmond. </p> <p>"It is such a loss, God has shat on our heads".<br> K. O'Neil, Inverness. </p> <p>"I am sure the Queen Mum will not let this setback put an end to her public duties".<br> N. Wallace, Swansea. </p> <p>"I hold Princess Margaret in no small way responsible for this terrible event"<br> E. Thompson, West Lothian. </p> <p>"Bomb Iraq for us Tony, its the only thing that will make us feel better"<br> P.McGregor, Southampton. </p> <p>"We must do all we can, send blankets, food parcels, jumpers, anything to help these brave souls who are queuing up to walk past her coffin".<br> R. Thompson, Bath. </p> <p>"I have been unable to masturbate for five days, and will not do so again until her majesty is buried"<br> E. Gorman, Derbyshire. </p> <p>"Good God, who is next, Geri Halliwell?".<br> R. Combes, Romford. </p> <p>"No matter how she felt, no matter the situation, she always wore a smile. Just like a retard."<br> G. Hollins, East Sussex. </p> <p>"I remember she came to visit us in the East End one time. She was so kind, so generous and so sweet. She whispered softly in my ear, 'You know, it's not true,' she said. 'You don't smell of shit.' She was a wondrous person".<br> E.Collier, London. </p> <p>"Whichever way you look at it, it just is not as exciting as Diana".<br> G.Williams, West Midlands. </p> <p>"She was one of us, and by that I don't mean she perpetrated insurance fraud or lied about expense claims. She was like us in a good way. God bless you ma'am".<br> L. Weller, Harlow. </p> <p>"If only I could get my hands on that fish bone right now, you heartless bastard!"<br> J. Hedges, Cowdenbeath. </p> <p>"She had such a difficult life, always battling against adversity and misfortune. Let us hope that if there is a next time round she is given a life of privilege and comfort."<br> T.D.Wainwright, Hastings. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2006/03/08/queen_mother_s_book_of_condolence~623319/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2006-03-03:/2006/03/03/song_for_damnation~608732/WickedImp2006-03-03T09:54:08+01:002006-03-03T09:54:08+01:00 <p>I wish I could fly - Keith Harris and Orville<br> Listening to this makes me realise my potential for genocide! It's utterly amazing that a green puppet with a nappy could put me in touch with a hatred I have never known about the human race...<br> I expect that when Keith Harris dies he will go to hell. Every morning for eternity Satan will shove Orville up Kieth's bum... I'm starting to envy Satan now! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2006/03/03/song_for_damnation~608732/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2006-02-23:/2006/02/23/quote~587548/WickedImp2006-02-23T20:20:01+01:002006-02-23T20:20:01+01:00 <p>“…-no girl had ever moved me with a story of spiritual suffering and so beautifully her soul showing out radiant as an angel wandering in hell and the hell the selfsame streets I’d roamed in watching, watching for someone just like her and never dreaming the darkness and the mystery and eventuality of our meeting in eternity,”<br> Jack Kerouac </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2006/02/23/quote~587548/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2006-02-19:/2006/02/19/constants~573640/WickedImp2006-02-19T01:20:41+01:002006-02-19T01:20:41+01:00 <p>In this life what is it that we can depend on? I often ask myself this seeking some constancy in the incohereant babble of all around me. It is as though, without some constants by which to anchor the chaos that boils at my feet, I am unable to make sense of the rest.</p> <p>Am I a constant, no. I am variable, affected, responsive to those around me. In all my ponderings on what can be counted on I can only find one depressing fact. This is "People will serve themselves best." </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2006/02/19/constants~573640/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2006-02-19:/2006/02/19/self_imposed~573632/WickedImp2006-02-19T01:10:01+01:002006-02-19T01:10:01+01:00 <p>"The mind is its own place, and in itself<br> Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heaven" </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2006/02/19/self_imposed~573632/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2006-01-26:/2006/01/26/title~507031/WickedImp2006-01-26T11:32:10+01:002006-01-26T11:32:10+01:00 <p>What is the meaning of life? Perhaps it's utterly post-modernistic in that it has no meaning or that the meaning was but one creative moment that washes into the sea of time like footprints on the beach? If anything, and I must talk from a purely subjective standpoint, I truely believe that I am the punchline to some great cosmic joke that I lack the capability of 'getting' because my mind is too small.</p> <p>Of course people have thier own theories, God and creation, some great universal force, pure science and some even odder ones that I don't dare to even imagine. Lets face it... all crap! I mean if we believe in a world of opposites then we must believe that people/deeds/events are either basically good or basically evil, this is so misconcieved because we have lots of 'good' people running around out there doing 'evil' things. I fail to be able to rationalise that at all.</p> <p>I've not led a blameless life by any stretch of the imagination but I've never done anything 'cruel' or 'evil' to another living creature, so why is it that I have such a shitty life where people are mean to me for no apparent reason. I guess a lot of people can't resist the temptation of taking advantage of me because of my limited, immediate mental capacities but that makes them basically bad but really they are good people. Gah! Now my head is spinning!</p> <p>Thanks for bearing with me through that, I've no idea what I wrote and if you did then you're much smarter than me. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/26/title~507031/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2006-01-03:/2006/01/03/untitled~436454/WickedImp2006-01-03T14:24:58+01:002006-01-03T14:24:58+01:00 <p>Each day I try to forgive the unforgettable<br> so much paid in blood, tears and soul<br> when the unforgotten gnaws at you from the past<br> when the debts due are left unpaid<br> when there is no more left inside<br> when robbed, battered, broken and alone in the dark<br> ... it is hard to give and impossible to forgive. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2006/01/03/untitled~436454/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2005-12-13:/2005/12/13/refinery_explosion~382844/WickedImp2005-12-13T11:47:09+01:002005-12-13T11:47:09+01:00 <p><a href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/m/mischiefmill/img/_41109474_hugesmokeafp.jpg" title="Toxic soot and smoke"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/m/mischiefmill/img/_41109474_hugesmokeafp_small.jpg" border="0" alt="Toxic soot and smoke"></a></p> <p>Without skirting around the loss of life and the bravery of the emergency services who have been battling for days to extinguish the blaze I really want to address some of the long term implications of this disaster.</p> <p>I'm very concerned about the sheer quantities of fumes, smoke and soot that has been released into the atmosphere, people are being told to 'stay indoors' and 'keep doors and windows closed'. I see this much like the American 'duck and cover' advice that was given to the American public during the Bay of Pigs escalation. What you were meant to do in the event of an 'atomic attack' - "When you see the flash, duck and cover." The informational film of the time showed a stereotypical 50's American family observe the flash and then jump underneath thier picnic cloth. I really didn't have any idea that picnic cloths could be so useful, flame and heat resistant to temperatures of several thousand degrees!</p> <p>In the same grain the environment will suffer badly due to the disaster near Hemel Hempstead. As the tower of ash and soot falls it will spread itself over farms, businesses, residential areas and finally that huge quantity of toxins will find it's way into the water. The cost will be easy to observe as the toll on local wildlife will be immense, it is fortunate that most wildlife is either in hibernation or migrated due to the time of year but we must remember that toxins such as petro-carbons and benzine have long lives and high levels of contamination.</p> <p>A quick search on the Internet or a public library will turn up many buildings in your local area that have been used for the storage of oil and oil products. These buildings are too expensive to demolish safely due to contamination and they are equally expensive to clean up. Essentially this disaster has cut a seventy mile swathe of poison across the UK and the effects in years to come may well be fatal.</p> <p>Benzine is a particularly nasty substance here is it's chemical profile with regard to proven hazards to human health:<br> Exposure to chemical substances can cause adverse effects on the nervous system (Neurotoxicity). Chemicals toxic to the central nervous system can induce confusion, fatigue, irritability, and other behavioral changes. Exposure to methyl mercury and lead cause central nervous system toxicity, and can also cause degenerative diseases of the brain (encephalopathy). Chemicals toxic to the peripheral nervous sytem affect how nerves carry sensory information and motor impulses from the brain to the rest of the body. The organic solvents carbon disulfide, n-hexane,and trichloroethylene can harm the peripheral nervous system, resulting in weakness in the lower limbs, tingling in the limbs (paresthesia), and loss of coordination.</p> <p>Then of course there is good old oil based petro-chemicals:<br> Gastrointestinal or Liver Toxicants<br> Exposure to chemical substances can cause adverse effects on the the gastrointestinal tract, liver, or gall bladder (gastrointestinal and liver toxicity). The gastrointestinal tract is the site of entry for chemicals that are ingested. Exposure to halogenated aromatic hydrocarbons, including chlorobenzene and hexachlorobenzene, and metals such as lead, mercury, arsenic, and cadmium can cause anorexia, nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramps, and diarrhea. The liver is frequently subject to injury induced by chemicals because of its role as the body's principal site of metabolism. Necrosis, or liver cell death, is a common effect of acute exposure to chemicals. Carbon tetrachloride and related chemicals, such as chloroform, are linked to cirrhosis of the liver. Cancer of the liver has been associated with occupational exposures to arsenic, copper, and vinyl chloride.</p> <p>Nice eh!</p> <p>The question that is really on my mind is who gets to pay for the clean up operation? Who will foot the bill for all the health related problems that we will be seeing in the future? I'm guessing there is billions of pounds worth there... but I'm also guessing that it will be the British Tax Payer that foots this bill. It seems somewhat unfair considering that the these petro-chemical companies are some of the most cash rich organisations on the face of the planet.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2005/12/13/refinery_explosion~382844/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2005-12-12:/2005/12/12/this_is_me~381422/WickedImp2005-12-12T20:14:59+01:002005-12-12T20:14:59+01:00 <p>No no no no no... I've not found a really good anti-ageing cream. This is me age 11 months. Apparently babies don't smile at this age, I beg to differ.<br> <a href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/m/mischiefmill/img/babyLove.jpg" title="11 months"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/m/mischiefmill/img/babyLove_small.jpg" border="0" alt="11 months"></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2005/12/12/this_is_me~381422/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2005-12-12:/2005/12/12/rewarding_behaviour~381364/WickedImp2005-12-12T20:00:38+01:002005-12-12T20:00:38+01:00 <p>Now we are all familiar with the concept of rewarding good behaviour and punishing or ignoring bad behaviour. Those of us who have read a parenting book or taken psyc. 101 will know that in order to encourage those who have an under developed morality (such as 4 year old children) it is the way in which they are taught to behave.</p> <p>It occured to me earlier today that this morality should never be taught by mothers to their children. What they actually need to be teaching is how to be annoying, demanding, unsatisfied, rude, inconsiderate, thoughtless and utterly guilt free. It seems that society demands these attributes at the highest level.</p> <p>Case studies:</p> <p>Advertising Exec: Mr X.</p> <p>Mr X works for an advertising company where his sole preoccupation is how to encourage young people to take up smoking at an early age. Yes, this is his brief. His team's annual budget for these activities is in excess of £100m, which doesn't include his wages of over 400K p.a</p> <p>I surmise the Mr. X has been rewarded disproportionately to his activities in order to encourage immoral behaviour on his part. Mr. X is aware of the evils of smoking to such an extent that he quit after seeing the corporate video that circulates BAT's advertising arm (imagine/evolution). Mr. X's team is 30 strong, none of which are paid any less than £150K p.a.</p> <p>How can society rightly put someone into jail for 15 years for holding up a building society and causing no harm when they allow the above behaviour to continue and infact reward such behaviour. It is worth noting that Mr Ken Clark (MP) is a board member of BAT (british american tobacco)</p> <p>[this is a totally true story, because I can do the impossible/illegal with computers I met some very interesting people while I was able to work.] </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2005/12/12/rewarding_behaviour~381364/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2005-12-11:/2005/12/11/another_example_of_just_how_hard_i_used_~378738/WickedImp2005-12-11T20:16:34+01:002005-12-11T20:16:34+01:00 <p>[12:33:28] «¤»Ímþ«¤»: You're Application is Served!<br> [12:35:42] «¤»Ímþ«¤»: Ready for testing with the UK hardcoded for<br> now.<br> [12:53:30] Wakeeem: ok sebd us urls and I am there a testing<br> [12:54:23] «¤»Ímþ«¤»: <a href="http://area51.chillihosts.net/dirtybitch/admin/">http://area51.chillihosts.net/dirtybitch/admin/</a><br> [12:54:56] «¤»Ímþ«¤»:<br> <a href="http://area51.chillihosts.net/dirtybitch/customerRegistrati">http://area51.chillihosts.net/dirtybitch/customerRegistrati</a><br> on.php -- customer - this is hardcoded to UK for now.<br> [12:55:22] «¤»Ímþ«¤»: All the functionality you requested is there and<br> it really is just a case of cosmetics.<br> [12:56:05] «¤»Ímþ«¤»: you can apply a stylesheet to the customer pages<br> to tart them up - have a look in the html code to find the<br> objects I've used for the forms.<br> [12:56:26] Wakeeem: ok<br> [12:56:43] Wakeeem: can you attach a style sheet and I will edit it<br> [12:56:45] Wakeeem: thanks<br> [12:56:53] «¤»Ímþ«¤»: The forms are without validation btw...<br> [12:58:00] «¤»Ímþ«¤»: erm... yeah I can do a stylesheet for the<br> customer pages but that will mean me writing all the basic<br> handles for the elements... or you can have a blank one for<br> gratis - but you'll have to write your own elements.<br> [12:58:01] Wakeeem: girl friend #1 is in the office<br> [12:58:06] Wakeeem: am being very distracted<br> [12:58:27] «¤»Ímþ«¤»: tell her to suck harder so you can finish and<br> then you can concentrate<br> [12:59:20] «¤»Ímþ«¤»: you'll be able to find the correct cc details to<br> use on the kwikpay instructions.<br> [12:59:46] Wakeeem: will cheak<br> [12:59:53] Wakeeem: check<br> [13:00:36] «¤»Ímþ«¤»: nods... (I lose the ability to spell when in the<br> company of fine women too) </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2005/12/11/another_example_of_just_how_hard_i_used_~378738/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2005-12-11:/2005/12/11/look_how_hard_web_programmers_work~378721/WickedImp2005-12-11T20:09:44+01:002005-12-11T20:19:43+01:00 <p><em>A very very very old chat log. Enjoy!</em></p> <p>[20-42-22] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> He wants me to make a holding page now.. So<br> I'm just hunting around the server for some gfx and<br> stylesheets<br> [20-42-44] I Grow The B- lol<br> [20-42-52] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> I know... well<br> [20-42-57] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> No rest for the wicked!<br> [20-42-59] I Grow The B- im sending you pics via email<br> [20-43-08] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> Schweet.. nice one angelina<br> [20-44-56] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> I've found some banners that might do...<br> [20-45-15] I Grow The B- what some home made type<br> [20-45-43] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> Lol.. I dunno what they look like yet - got<br> to make them to a public area then take a peek via a<br> browser<br> [20-46-25] I Grow The B- Leave a funky message like Dick Control is<br> out of serve<br> [20-47-03] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> Lol.. I was thinking about it.. also thinking<br> about offering my erection to wives and girlfriends... as a<br> replacement service<br> [20-47-26] I Grow The B- yeah<br> [20-47-32] I Grow The B- and its free of charge<br> [20-47-45] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> Well.. they payt travelling and coke<br> expenses<br> [20-47-53] I Grow The B- and toys<br> [20-48-00] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> Yeah.. exactly...<br> [20-48-00] I Grow The B- also for special effects too<br> [20-48-20] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> fucking right.. and I ain't wearing those<br> clown shoes again neither! lol<br> [20-48-40] I Grow The B- Or pretending to put on some fake james bond<br> accent<br> [20-48-52] I Grow The B- sent you the pics<br> [20-48-56] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> No.. I can do a sean connery!<br> [20-48-57] I Grow The B- i slept with robin<br> [20-49-08] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> Who..<br> [20-49-12] I Grow The B- I can do great cockney<br> [20-49-14] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> robin redbreast?<br> [20-49-20] I Grow The B- robin this chick in toronto<br> [20-49-23] I Grow The B- she was HOT<br> [20-49-28] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> did she have redbreasts<br> [20-49-34] I Grow The B- nah<br> [20-49-37] I Grow The B- lol<br> [20-49-42] I Grow The B- cant do red breats<br> [20-50-06] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> I can - but it can be painful.. depends if<br> their the masocistic type<br> [20-50-20] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> just checkin your mail now<br> [20-50-50] * I Grow The Best Weed has changed his/her name to My<br> family grows the best weed. Internationally from UK across<br> the seas!<br> [20-50-53] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> yeah.. Robin red breasts is cute man.. I<br> approve.<br> [20-51-05] My family gr- yeah she was cool<br> [20-51-13] My family gr- she didnt know how to take me<br> [20-51-21] My family gr- was i serious flirting or joking<br> [20-51-27] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> So you took her instead - right?<br> [20-51-53] My family gr- well we took each other after a few shot of<br> brain haemorrages<br> [20-51-55] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> your mate jesse looks like someone I used to<br> know called Phil Martin<br> [20-52-08] My family gr- yeah Jesse reminded me of you<br> [20-52-09] My family gr- so wild<br> [20-52-24] My family gr- and that pic of a girl close up me and jesse<br> nearly had a 3some with her<br> [20-52-29] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> Lol... ya ain't seen nuffink yet Sash!<br> [20-52-34] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> *tongue*<br> [20-52-37] My family gr- but she wanted her boyfriend to join in we<br> were like fuck that<br> [20-53-11] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> Yeah.. you probably would have worn him out<br> in 10 mins flat<br> [20-53-20] My family gr- nah worn me out<br> [20-53-26] My family gr- i get well knackered<br> [20-53-33] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> tsk tsk tsk.. no stamina sash<br> [20-53-34] My family gr- and bored!<br> [20-53-34] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> lol<br> [20-53-45] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> Ah.. we have to work on that then<br> [20-53-51] My family gr- yeah<br> [20-54-10] My family gr- i want people drooling over the fact that i<br> could be magical in bed<br> [20-54-11] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> I know about the getting bored thing.. you<br> just need to be more assertive... worst thing that can<br> happen is...<br> [20-54-17] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> that they stop... ya know<br> [20-54-40] My family gr- im a reluctant lover<br> [20-54-45] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> Hey... Now getting folk drooling about that<br> over you won't be hard..<br> [20-54-45] My family gr- i like being lazy<br> [20-55-12] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> Well.. erm.. sex... the more you put in the<br> more you get out - unless you shag corpses..<br> [20-55-23] My family gr- lol<br> [20-55-26] My family gr- im the corpses<br> [20-55-32] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> x-- not something I've tried in case you're<br> wondering.<br> [20-55-37] My family gr- yo have you been watching desperate<br> housewives<br> [20-55-45] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> Nah.. any good?<br> [20-56-03] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> Seen some hot lil bint in underware on<br> bil;lboard ads though<br> [20-56-22] My family gr- yeah man its on weds at 10pm on channel 4<br> [20-56-44] My family gr- and theres this lesbian american soap called<br> The L Word<br> [20-56-55] My family gr- lol its so fucking full of lesbian sex<br> [20-57-02] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> I really should check it out.. Might have to<br> sit watching it with an erection.. but hey.. that's life<br> huh<br> [20-57-15] My family gr- look man thats life<br> [20-57-21] My family gr- watching and not touching<br> [20-57-36] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> Nah.. that's torture..<br> [20-57-49] My family gr- I need to be a gangster rapper and have hoes<br> and shit and some mtv crib....I want my room to be filled<br> with pussy<br> [20-58-16] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> Wriggling and alive with it bro!<br> [20-58-28] My family gr- lol<br> [20-58-47] My family gr- and u know dem whoes will let you call them<br> bitches and wear tiny bikinis<br> [20-59-17] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> I'm far too much of a considerate lover -<br> unless they are down with being hoes... lol<br> [21-00-17] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> Hey...<br> [21-00-23] My family gr- hmmmmm<br> [21-00-38] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> wot about this gfx<br> [21-00-39] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> http-//www.xxxxx.co.uk/xxxxx_uk.jpg<br> [21-01-19] My family gr- its alright for now<br> [21-01-34] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> Yeah.. it's the only half decent one I can<br> find.<br> [21-01-43] My family gr- well it will have to do<br> [21-01-50] My family gr- you can spend all night looking<br> [21-01-53] My family gr- cant<br> [21-02-20] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> Should I stick the phone number on there.. uk<br> office times 9-30 - 17-30 mon - fri<br> [21-03-01] My family gr- yeah<br> [21-03-10] <a href="mailto:peter@mischi-">peter@mischi-</a> What's the number sash<br> [21-03-20] My family gr- dunno</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2005/12/11/look_how_hard_web_programmers_work~378721/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2005-12-11:/2005/12/11/genuine_letter_of_resignation_circa~378676/WickedImp2005-12-11T19:57:22+01:002005-12-11T19:57:22+01:00 <p>Dear Juggling Flapmiester,</p> <p>Your flapping has now reached such epic proportions that I have for some time been unable to carry out my job properly.. Your repeated cries of 'the internet is down', 'the phone system doesn't work' and my personal favourite "I never touched apart from that I logged in and.... But apart from the fact it's not working anymore, it's working perfectly, so could you fix it." - have all grown too much for me. If it wasn't all so fucking tragic it would be hilarious...</p> <p>Your utterly irrelevant and mind numbingly boring stories about kite surfing, your holidays and the shallow and boring people that you associate with, have bought me to my knees with their totalitarian mediocrity, lesser morals would have held you in complete contempt long before I did. I feel my time has not been in vain as I have learnt to suffer fools gladly.</p> <p>Well, as you can probably imagine from my outburst I will be leaving.. wave your stupid worthless contract all you like.. go red faced and bang your hand on the desk... go on... it makes me chuckle so.. and I need a good laugh!</p> <p>I will not be working out the final month, well I will, but consider my presence as material as the mythical 'bonus situation' - so although you won't actually see me there or have any production from me you can be assured I and my production do exist and are working hard in some parallel dimension.</p> <p>I have noted that you have now filled the entire 180Gb of network storage with multiple copies of the same data over two disks... this is not a disaster prevention strategy... this is a disaster waiting to happen. As I have pointed out many times you should leave such matters to those with a scooby-fucking-doo.</p> <p>I have also noted that you have filled the phone system hard disk with utter shite as well.. I'm afraid I can't do anything about that as the computer has crashed under the weight of your 80Gb file transfers. A point worth noting for future reference is that 80Gb or data will not fit onto a 20Gb disk - regardless of how surprised you look when it errors and crashes.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2005/12/11/genuine_letter_of_resignation_circa~378676/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2005-12-11:/2005/12/11/look_alikes~378025/WickedImp2005-12-11T16:16:24+01:002005-12-11T16:16:24+01:00 <p>One is former leader of the conservative party the other sniffs cocaine off a strippers tits every saturday night.</p> <p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/m/mischiefmill/img/hague.jpg" border="0" alt="William Hague"></p> <p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/m/mischiefmill/img/ward.jpg" border="0" alt="Andy Ward"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2005/12/11/look_alikes~378025/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2005-12-11:/2005/12/11/iraq_trail_latest~378005/WickedImp2005-12-11T16:08:49+01:002005-12-11T16:08:49+01:00 <p>After the recent walk out by Saddam from the trail in Iraq his future is looking a tad uncertain.</p> <p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/m/mischiefmill/img/saddambum.jpg" border="0" alt="Latest News"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2005/12/11/iraq_trail_latest~378005/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2005-12-10:/2005/12/11/thought_for_today~376798/WickedImp2005-12-11T00:07:47+01:002005-12-11T00:07:47+01:00 <p>Each journey begins with one small step. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2005/12/11/thought_for_today~376798/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2005-12-10:/2005/12/10/welcome_to_my_world~376643/WickedImp2005-12-10T22:38:18+01:002005-12-10T22:38:18+01:00 <p>Silent comes my adversary to eat me by degrees in the darkness to which I am both servant and master. Hands on my throat it aches to want to need a gasp of air to give blessed relief to my striken frame and when it comes it gives absolution to my soul to know that I am alive. We are not truely alive until we are almost dead. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2005/12/10/welcome_to_my_world~376643/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2005-12-09:/2005/12/09/50_things_about_me~374512/WickedImp2005-12-09T23:58:51+01:002005-12-09T23:58:51+01:00 <p>1. I enjoy smoking<br> 2. I love to drink<br> 3. I am sought out by excess<br> 4. I live in a permanent state of belwilderment<br> 5. I am very untidy<br> 6. I have a methodology for everything but the mundane<br> 7. I find the mundane impossible<br> 8. I excel at the abstract and complex<br> 9. I dont understand people<br> 10. I do understand string theory (m-theory)<br> 11. I often feel I am a spectator to my own life<br> 12. I once forgot to eat for nearly a week<br> 13. I am infinately patient<br> 14. I live by treating others how I would like to be treated<br> 15. I see all the details but not the bigger picture<br> 16. I have walked many miles in many shoes but not a step in my own<br> 17. I believe that those who matter dont mind and those who mind dont matter<br> 18. I avoid regret, though some memories are painful<br> 19. I take too long making choices<br> 20. I drink far far too much<br> 21. I have more than dabbled in illicit drugs<br> 22. I am diagnosed as defective<br> 23. I am a people pleaser<br> 24. I have more broken dreams than future ambitions<br> 25. I cant watch the news<br> 26. I believe there is too much evil in the world<br> 27. I do not pity myself but those that must suffer me<br> 28. I always wished to die young<br> 29. I never got anything I wished for<br> 30. I can be reckless and foolhardy<br> 31. I care little for myself<br> 32. I hate hatred<br> 33. I love to love<br> 34. I can talk to anyone<br> 35. I can speak about a huge range of subjects<br> 36. I think truth is subjective<br> 37. I appreciate the beauty of the world around me<br> 38. I adore human expression through any artistic medium<br> 39. I love taking photographs<br> 40. I unconditionally adore women<br> 41. I will never die by my own design<br> 42. I understand that all my plans go awry<br> 43. I always trust everyone<br> 44. As a child I wanted to be a witch doctor<br> 45. I was expelled from six schools<br> 46. I believe that we are alone in a godless universe<br> 47. I accept the beliefs and opinions of others<br> 48. I would rather be the cause of a million smiles than have a million pounds<br> 49. I will never ever get better<br> 50. If I had one wish I would use it on someone else </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2005/12/09/50_things_about_me~374512/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2005-12-08:/2005/12/08/yuletide_season_s_rant~370734/WickedImp2005-12-08T16:44:35+01:002005-12-09T16:53:15+01:00 <p>It's that time of year again, that special time when we all suddenly wish each other well, give gifts to friends and family as a token of our affection as well as selflessly giving money to charity and thinking of those who are not as fortunate as ourselves. What a wonderful sentiment Xmas inspires and were it not for human nature it would work perfectly. Personally I don't need a special date on my calendar to love my friends and family, nor do I reserve good deeds for just one time each year but then I'm one of those poor sick puppies who is poorly socially adjusted.</p> <p>Utter amazement holds me in its thrall as I witness this season of greed, competition, rudeness and indifference unfold. I wonder if the world around me has lost it's meaning for those cold stoney inhabitants who seem to patrol the malls and stores like so much cattle. This dream of imagined happiness that can be purchased, packaged, wrapped and given, complete with proof of purchase should the procured joy be inadequate in some way.</p> <p>It seems so convenient that affection can be demonstrated with a quick flash of cash in a last minute dash to the shops, the concept of this neat package leaves me cold, it seems inhuman in so many ways. Maybe I am wrong, perhaps people really do get huge gratification from this brand (or perhaps 'branded') form of caring. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2005/12/08/yuletide_season_s_rant~370734/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2005-12-08:/2005/12/08/something_odd~370561/WickedImp2005-12-08T15:40:13+01:002005-12-08T15:40:13+01:00 <p>Of late I have been 'force' (nothing to do with star wars) socialising myself. This I can partially blame on the lack of my Internet connection and the close proximity of a 'health club' Yes reader! I, the great unwashed, unshaven, uneducated and underexcerised have actually been attending an establishment of so called health.</p> <p>Partially I have to admit that I am doing this to actually school myself into leaving the house, finding a brisk walk in the park not motivating enough. However these daily jaunts, a mile of swimming followed by a little indulgence of what the spar has to offer have not been without some of my own unique observations and that is what I am here to impart to you. Yes, I'm actually writing a post that veers away from my own dark introspection!</p> <p>So firstly the health club seems to be inhabited by mainly very overweight people who are virtually crying out "My Doctor Made Me Do It!" and they seem highly adept at actually avoiding any form of exertion, which to me seems somewhat odd. For example the portly gent who has a face like a red traffic light whose whole regime consists of sitting in the jacuzzi or mastrubating in the steam room, most unnerving especially when he starts looking in my direction! I suppose this could be termed exercise and we can only be thankful that he mastrubates after being in the jacuzzi as he seems at odds with any concept of hygiene.</p> <p>Then there are the two elderly ladies who stand halfway up the fast lane having a long conversation... I have yet to actually see either of them swim a stroke, it might be down to them not wanting to get thier hair wet or some such, in fact there is an inordinate amount of women who don't ever get thier hair wet while swimming, surely another pursuit would suit them better. Gah!</p> <p>I seem to be ranting, this really isn't good at all as I'm not exactly in a position to really put anyone else down, still these are just observations. I find the jacuzzi quite problematic being that my swimming shorts tend to get filled with the bubbles and force me to rise to the surface, groin first and then bob around uncontrollably until I force the air from them with a whoosh. Additionally I always seem to end up sitting near a faulty valve, which in itself does not detract from the experience but during the pause between cycles it makes me look as though I am farting copiously. Sometimes I think "Why me!" and I have tried moving around to different places but the farting valve seems to follow me, perhaps a conspiracy against me by machines!</p> <p>Still I shall continue to endure my daily humiliation at the hands of the jacuzzi as I believe that the benefits are starting to show... For example, I'm looking cleaner, more muscular and much better defined... and strangely while I swim my mind is in repose, thinking only of each stroke and breath and naught else. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2005/12/08/something_odd~370561/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2005-11-27:/2005/11/27/soon_to_come~342742/WickedImp2005-11-27T23:59:35+01:002005-11-27T23:59:35+01:00 <p>This is more a note to myself to write down all the wonderful concepts and thoughts that I have been having over the last month. I've had some real beauties and have a few notes written down.</p> <p>You'll all be glad to hear that the new (relative) computer has arrived and broadband is on the brink of being connected, sometime this week, so I shall be back in full and prolific force very very shortly. I've really missed not being able to 'splurge' my brains out onto the Internet and have consequently taken a turn for the worse in the last few days, but as you all know I am the epitome of hope eternal! Nothing is forever. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2005/11/27/soon_to_come~342742/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2005-11-23:/2005/11/23/the_wrong_prescription~332722/WickedImp2005-11-23T22:54:19+01:002005-11-23T22:54:19+01:00 <p>It seems that those who claim to know all in fact know nothing at all. Those who embark on each voyage of discovery taking with them the collected baggage of so much supposition are doomed to founder under the weight of cargo they carry and descend swiftly to ol' davey jones's locker (not the short one out of the fake band - the monkeys)</p> <p>Ah yes dear reader, I once again write most enthusiasically about the so called professionals of our medical establishment. Be aware that these opinions of mine have been formed by my encounters with certain individuals and are in no way a condemnation of the medical profession but if you are a medical practicioner you would do well to descend from your impervious ivory tower and come listen to my insane ramblings as, of course, it is easy to discard the ranting of one mad man who screams into the wind.</p> <p>*mischievious waggle of eyebrows*</p> <p>I can scarce recall if I managed to tell you all of my visit to the head doctor for the examination and quantification and classification of my internal essence... but just in case I failed to document such a display of utter moronity I shall recap in brief...</p> <p>1. Failed to have or read any of my extensive notes.<br> 2. Attempted to start a brand new case history.<br> 3. Had to be told eight times that I already had a case history before stopping making a new one.<br> 4. Became utterly bemused within 140 seconds of my introduction. (note to self - do not use medical terminology to qualified professionals, it throws them)<br> 5. Instilled no faith in me by his awe inspiring and useful analysis of my problem and his solution, which was "Double your medication" and "See you in four months for a review"</p> <p>Now, my own GP is a marvellous chap, he really listens to me and also lets me play around with all his blood pressure stuff and things for looking in ears. I am well known to him and on my last visit he asked how I had got on with the shrink... Naturally he had to refer me, red tape and all that, must be seen to be doing to the right thing and he had not held up much hope for it. Apparently they were meant to appraise my condition and then write back to my GP, it hardly surprised me that this had not been done, so my GP asked if there was an outcome to the meeting. I passed on the fool, sorry I mean shrink's recommendations and my GP was agast. Apparently doubling my medication would most likely have terminal consequences and he could hardly believe that I was told that this was the recommendation... Guess he'll have to wait for the letter for the big laughs.</p> <p>What worries me here is that the professional I saw is meant to be;</p> <p>1. An expert in his field.<br> 2. An expert regarding the use of medication<br> 3. Knowledgable about his patients.</p> <p>It occured to me that had this so called professional remembered to fill a prescription for me I would no doubt cooled a little by now... to room temperature I think.</p> <p>So I leave you to draw your own conclusions and warn you all to never believe that you know something that means you don't have to analyse the situation in hand. Pride always comes before a fall... I think it was Socrates who said that the beginning of understanding was the statement "I know nothing." I can only surmise that I have begun to understand a lot of things in my life as I constantly feel that I know nothing!</p> <p>As a closing thought, it probably cost quite a bit of money to send me to that place and get my head shrunk for three hours. I felt awful about it and it seems to have done no good whatsoever. I propose that the next time they wish to spend that kind of money that it be used to buy me some drugs and booze, a night at a strip club and the company of a professional woman for the bed time hours. Frankly, -that- -would- do me that power of good.</p> <p>General note - soon broadband cometh and you will have to endure many more of these random blogs by yours truely. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2005/11/23/the_wrong_prescription~332722/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2005-11-09:/2005/11/09/the_difference_between_cats_aamp_dogs~295469/WickedImp2005-11-09T17:44:42+01:002005-11-09T17:44:42+01:00 <p>Dogs have owners, cats have staff. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2005/11/09/the_difference_between_cats_aamp_dogs~295469/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2005-11-08:/2005/11/08/similarities_of_life_and_buses~291298/WickedImp2005-11-08T12:33:54+01:002005-11-08T12:33:54+01:00 <p>Bad things are like buses... when you don't want any, three come along at once.</p> <p>To explain the abscence of myself and alter-ego (Imp) I will have to explain my brush with that which is like buses...</p> <p>Feeling rather bemused by life in general, as per usual, I slogged through a bout of particularly bad depression that was afflicting me. I say depression afflicts me as it seems to have many physical manifestations such as marathon sleeping, staring at the intricate patterns on wall paper for hours and spotting flecks of dust on carpets. Such worthwhile endeavors.</p> <p>So my line of buses awaits to pull up to my stop. First bus I must travel upon is proudly marked destination administrative error. It turns out that the local authority have not been paying for my accomodation over the last six months or so, as was agreed in the letter they sent, thus I have lost the home I was living in. I am now staying with family, I suppose this is a good place for now but it makes me feel so powerless, I mean I know I'm crap at stuff, like I find my important bills in the fridge and keys left in the front door or bread bin but that's just me... I'm somewhat used to it.</p> <p>Second bus destination was - put 80% of your worldly belongings in a skip. Although I myself did not do this as doing so would cause far too much confusion it still represents a loss of things that I can't possibly remember having. You see it's like you know that you had something that went somewhere and although feeling it's loss you have no clue what that thing actually was. Still I am in mourning for a vast number of nameless things that I can only describe as stuff.</p> <p>Third and last bus falling almost as a thunderbolt from the heavens... computer is dead and thus am forced to borrow computer in household. I am a creature of habit and ritual and have a hard time adjusting to new things so this upset has curtailed my blogging. I hope to be back in full effect in the next two weeks or so.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2005/11/08/similarities_of_life_and_buses~291298/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2005-10-23:/2005/10/23/title~255783/WickedImp2005-10-23T15:58:12+02:002005-10-23T15:59:08+02:00 <p>Today is a bad day for me, the splash of water on the small body of water that is me has filled me with obtuse angles of emotion that are hard to place my hands around and draw into me. Awkward shapes that have no meaning or clean fit into the heart of me have come unbidden from the blackness that falls upon me and obscures all else.</p> <p>I write immediately, without contemplation of the words or their meaning as though it is not I who writes but this combination of me and it, the difference in me that might be only passing but at this moment threatens to swallow me whole.</p> <p>Sleep comes randomly and deeply, time becomes snatched fragments of conciousness that are like a sharp flashing light but in slow motion and filled with overwhelming obstacles. All sounds are acute and intense and lit against the backdrop of an constant hum that almost glows like a prickly turning sphere.</p> <p>I question if there is movement or passage of time, will this end, or I. Surely this is I and I will end or it but it is the waiting and I am a doing word, perhaps that is the torture of these moments I spend here. A vow to keep me constant in my prison of self design, to overcome, to weather the storm, to be I with all that I entails.</p> <p>I have been here many times before but always unfamiliar, I know it will not be the last time that I visit and soon, I hope, this time will be like an old friend who visits on occasion. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2005/10/23/title~255783/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2005-10-20:/2005/10/20/just_a_memory~249585/WickedImp2005-10-20T23:30:57+02:002005-10-20T23:30:57+02:00 <p>It seems like only yesterday that I was just broaching my twenties and yet all those specific day to day memories seem somehow shrowded by the veil that only the passage of years can draw over a thing. I search for reference and find a bathroom, clinical and white with a single box window high in the wall, so high that one could not hope to look through it... an airy apartment in a regency building, high above the ground with a view of the Bristol Bridge and the endless greenery and rolling hills beyond. Sundays that came and went where I would be at repose watching hot air balloons ascent into the sky and drift silently over the four story building to survey the heart of the city, those listless days of summer and that summer where it was still warm into the October and the sun so bright and vivid and the girl whose smile illuminated my dark and callow soul, infecting me with her vital beauty. It was as though she was the spirit of that long summer, her beautiful nakedness against me in the night, the fall of her breast the curve of her hip and the graceful shape that her waist fell into betwixt the two.</p> <p>I remember her hair, dark and long, falling on my chest like strands of silk as those large blue eyes looked into mine and I knew that we were utterly absorbed in each other. It was as though, together, in those brief moments, that the pair of us could stop time. For perhaps it is folly to dream of things past during the waking hours and such can only sadden the heart but I shall eternally be grateful for the summer that I will always remember as Amanda. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2005/10/20/just_a_memory~249585/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2005-10-20:/2005/10/20/bumps_in_the_fabric~248517/WickedImp2005-10-20T15:51:54+02:002005-10-20T15:51:54+02:00 <p>What is this stigma about mental (ill-) health that people seem to have when it comes to giving someone a job. It seems that dishonesty amd deviousness are rewarded while openess and frankness are punished. To my own apparently warped mind it seems like it doesn't actually matter what you can and can't do, it matters how well you can lie. Yes, I think, the whole world is just walking around kidding each other. For example people enquire as to how you are and don't really want to know... that one vexes me no end and I find myself answering inappropraitely saying, "Not to good actually, I'm really down at the moment because of...." where the correct response is , "Fine! How are you." Naturally this a small scale example and this social habit seems to be pervasive throughout every day life.</p> <p>What has highlighted this to me recently was a call from an old friend of mine (he emailed me before phoning so I knew to pick up). Chris is working in China at the moment, rolling out a high tech solution for a US company out there. I met Chris at University, in fact I coached him through the entire the entire course. Chris had come up on a stumbling block and had called me for advice on how to do something. I mean I don't mind doing mates a favour but it seems to me that his company was one of the many that I had an interview with and passed me up because of my quirks... It's worth noting at this point that Chris and collegues had been sweating over this problem for three days and had failed to get the thing working right. Took me twenty-five minutes to fix.. twenty mins spent looking around the system, five mins making changes.</p> <p>The point that I'm trying to make here is that I know for a fact that Chris lied on his CV and at his interview and Chris is a pretty average guy (very nice guy) so I'm assuming that many people do the same. Futher to that my hypothisis is that companies are full of people who are underqualified but talk the talk. If only someone would give me a go, or would HAVE given me a go, things might not be so bad for me now. Who knows. I feel things are way too far gone for me now but I can see that people in my position have a terrible cross to bear in terms of finding work or getting a half decent life together.</p> <p>At the moment I live on a paltry 51.10 a week that is handed out to me every two weeks. Out of this I must make up the shortfall in my rent, pay my bills, feed my cats and finally feed myself. After making up the shortfall in my rent I only have about £104.00 to live on each calendar month. This might seem like a pittance but since I don't really go out or have what you might call a lavish lifestyle it seems to work just about alright.</p> <p>It's not really about the money though for me, I loved just being involved with something, the problem Chris gave me was like a breath of fresh air breaking my monotony and giving me a sense of usefulness, it's a terrible burden knowing that you can make a difference but not being given the chance to do so... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2005/10/20/bumps_in_the_fabric~248517/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:mischiefmill.blog.co.uk,2005-10-18:/2005/10/18/walking_on_boiling_lava~242023/WickedImp2005-10-18T10:51:22+02:002005-10-18T10:51:22+02:00 <p>My mountain of boiling lava today is to walk to the cash machine, withdraw money and purchase milk and some smokes! Might sound easy for you but had it not been for me deliberately surprising myself with this task I would have certainly stayed up all night fretting about it.</p> <p>So, into the blue I go to return in a short while. I hope... what is the worst that can happen? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://mischiefmill.blog.co.uk/2005/10/18/walking_on_boiling_lava~242023/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>